My Identity, Her Heritage.

As we leave Hispanic Heritage Month & El Dia De La Raza behind this year, I've started to reflect on my identity once again. Not for me, but for my daughter. Identifying myself as a Latina but also as an "American" was difficult.  However, the environment I grew up in aided in creating a strong sense of identity -- Latino parents, growing up in the most diverse city in the world and peers with similar background. On the other hand my daughter will grow up under different social conditions.  And this is where my reflection lies...will I be able to instill our heritage enough where she can have a strong sense and confidence of her identity?

Having Latino immigrant parents and born in the United States exposed me two two worlds very different from one another. It gave me two languages and sometimes completely different cultural customs. From food, music, art, literature and even manners I had to live in two worlds all at once. While there were feelings of frustrations there was also a sense of pride. Looking at the world from a broader lens gave me the sense of being proud of being bicultural. Coming from an interracial family, my daughter is already exposed to two worlds + one -- the Latino, American and bicultural world. Her first years she will see the world in many shades and hopefully this can aid her to build a strong foundation and sense of pride in where she comes from.

Growing up in New York City and living there the first 27 years of my life gave me the gift of diversity. A gift which gave me the sense of loving who I am, for who I am! The children I played with, to the places I dined, shopped and simply lived my life were of different backgrounds. The varying socio-economic structures of the City gave me a sense of confidence in which I was not brought to hate myself or reject who I was or where I came from. Instead it taught me to embrace and love my diversity because I represented what New York City was all about. With an unfortunate level of gentrification in New York City, this diversity has been pushed more toward the suburbs, rapidly. While still predominantly white (54.7%, according the U.S. Census), Long Island is rapidly shifting away from a monocultural way of life. Presenting a positive and more contemporary environment for future generations.

Peers of a similar bicultural way of life, definitely aided in comforting and strengthening me throughout the years. I was growing up in two worlds and regardless of race, sex, gender, or ethnicity there were others who could relate . A sense of solidarity and comfort grew through these friendships. The unfortunate and inevitable pace of New York City's gentrification, brings upon a new light on suburbs of the Long Island area. People of diverse socio-economic backgrounds, contribute to all ages.

On a positive note, the environment my daughter will be growing up in seems promising. However suburbia's monocultural reputation perpetuating xenophobia and prejudices towards anything different from the "America way of life" does seem to be an obstacle she might have to face. Living here three years I have met, heard, seen, experienced the negative part of old suburbia. And I cannot keep myself from wondering will this "old school" way of thinking be passed down to future generations, including my child's? Will she be shamed away from her roots as I've met and known other Latinos in the area to do so. Or will my skepticism be proved wrong and change truly be present throughout her life.

All I can do for now is celebrate, educate and bring her heritage to life through family and what I've known and experienced living in more than world. Hoping that one day she too will embrace her Latinidad and represent it the way she chooses with pride.

A Xenophobic and Racist Elephant in the Closet

In the past few months words like -- "Un-American", "Spic", "Mexican", "Immigrant" , "Illegal" have been circulating social media websites, describing people from the Latino community. In response to public appearances of two individuals singing both the National Anthem and "God Bless America". While these words held no effect on both these individuals, it has had an effect on me. It has brought about a pretty obvious problem that in the recent years have come to light towards our community and that is when you add ignorance and fear of the unknown, it equals hostility and violence.

Technology has not only closed gaps amongst societies, it has also brought the cat out of the closet. It has brought about problems people in this country might have neglected to accept. It has brought about issues people chose to sweep under the rug after certain Civil Rights Laws were passed. While policies can be reformed in order to control hate, government cannot so easily erase it from peoples' minds and way of life.

This country was founded by immigrants. Composed of immigrants. These immigrants were European individuals seeking change, acceptance, equality -- a better life. Throughout this country's history, there were different groups of European immigrants who came to this country seeking the same. At first, these groups were isolated, regarded as second-class citizens. However, they shared this status with people of color which quickly incited "Americans" to accept these white immigrants and create an accessible individual mobility for these groups. Their color became key to their social acceptance. And in return this groups quickly left many of their cultural values. To me, that was a heavy price, but as the saying goes, "to each their own", I can respect that.

Fast forward to the 19th, 20th and 21st Centuries and you have different groups of immigrants. Immigrants of color, different races, different customs, different religions. These groups seeking pretty much the same thing the first groups of immigrants sought after when they landed in these soils. However, these groups were not of white race. And to make the scenario a bit more complicated, they did not migrate the same way many of the first group of immigrants migrated. No longer could these communities work their way through society as the prior group of immigrants of the 16th, 17th & 18th Centuries. These groups had obstacles both social and economic. These groups were cast aside as second-class citizens. One of these groups are the Latino community.

A community rich in culture & diversity, not even I can say this is how my culture fully functions. But I can full-heartedly say it is a culture filled with acceptance & tolerance. I say this because we are a culture of diversity ourselves. There is no black/white scenarios to our values and way of life. But one thing is certain many of us hold these values to heart, regardless of what number of generations are living in this country. Our language, our history, our values all form our community. And as a large and growing population in this country it is seemingly scary for many "Americans" in this country. Scary when individuals such as a little boy, Sebastian De La Cruz, sung the National Anthem in a Mariachi Outfit. Scary to know that while he is proud to be born in this country, he is also proud to not leave behind who he is just to be accepted and tolerated. Scary that a young boy like him will grow up as himself and will not bullied into conforming Scary as Marc Anthony, a popular singer, native New Yorker who is proud to sing God Bless America and yet identify himself with his community by being famous for singing in Spanish and yes in English.

They don't fully hold blame for their ignorance. Their ignorance silently resonates through fact-less based media sources, peers, family, even the primary-education system. All these resources lack the proper education on a group of people that have contributed and continue to contribute to this country on all facets of its society.

In the recent years I have fortunately or maybe unfortunately faced a rude awakening. Racism, xenophobia, discrimination has not been abolished regardless of the policies in existence.

I constantly read, see or hear individuals speak of Patriotism. Its a word thrown around the national anthem, supporting troops, fighting terrorism. It is also a word thrown around to excuse hate, violence and perpetual ignorance.

"He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it." These words were uttered by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. As a proud Latina, many have labeled and called me un-Patriotic, amongst derogatory names simply because I am part of the community which will not bargain with its values and culture in order to be accepted. What makes this country unique from others around the globe, is it's diversity. A country founded by immigrants, composed of immigrants...no matter what color we are ALL immigrants or have descended from such. The only difference is that some of us choose not to conform to the norm, but to be who we are in a diverse country. And believing that core value is what makes one Patriotic.

Womyn Should Not Be Shamed Into Society's Norms

In our society today words such as "slut", "hootchie", "whore" are applied on an everyday basis for many girls and young women today. Words that have become acceptable because they turn into headlines in the media, topics for policy reform within our education system; Words used as an excuse to an enduring oppression for women of all ages within our society. A new method of checks and balances as to how and what we should like. And if we don't conform to these norms then we pay the consequences b being labeled these words that are perceived as derogatory.

School policies banning strapless prom dresses in New Jersey or body shaming policies in Stuyvesant High School in NYC enforce a silent message to theses young students on body shaming that will persevere throughout there lives after their academic years and onto adulthood. Not only do these policies send out the message in which young girls bodies are ruled not by themselves but by someone else's, they send out message of insecurity perpetuating a sense of inferiority simply because we're are women. As if being a woman one has to already abide by the approval of others. And if one does not abide by these norms then we would be labeled slut or invite negative actions towards us such as rape.

I clearly remember growing up in a similar culture during my high school years. Where if I wore a mini skirt in High School I'd look like a hootchie. Or if the girl next to me wore a low cut shirt would be slut. One  would be shamed away from wearing what we desired to wear simply because certain outfits would be labeled negatively by our peers. Now if we add today's policies implemented by academic administrators, we are marking a bullseye on young girls today. More victims of bullying, or a legit reason to dignify certain rape cases where "she was asking for it" may be used simply because our institutions have labeled dressing a certain way against the rules.

One does not escape the eyes of critics when we grow up. If anything I'd it becomes worst. In a recent headline, singer/performer Jennifer Lopez was criticized for wearing an inappropriate outfit for her performance in Britain's Got Talent. Labeled as family friendly, critics were on her case as to not dressing more modestly. This brought upon the question as to what a woman should dress like in order to represent modesty amongst a family.

Coming from the city, there was never a definition of what a mom looked like. There was no dress code or any form of socioeconomically labeling a mom in the city. On the other hand a suburban mom can also be known as the soccer mom. Maybe a depiction of a Stepford wife came to mind, but today less 1950s and more SUV, running to play dates, where dressing comfortably was the outfit of the day everyday. Maybe making a generalization but you get the idea. If one decides to move away from the monotonous stereotype of a mom in suburbia one attracts the perpetual body shaming we as women have endured since we were young. Once again the norm of what a mom looks like and what we have to conform to even if we might not agree continues to oppress us on an individual level.

Body shaming simply perpetuates the notion that women's appearances are valued over what we contribute to our society on a social and economic level. School policies surrounding itself on body shaming simply enforces and teaches students body shaming is permissible. This notion extends itself post academia and onto other steps in their lives. We should be able to wear and carry ourselves however we want. We should be able to celebrate our diversity as women not attack each other or enable ways and methods of oppression amongst us. There should not be a specific definition of what a girl should look like or a mom should look like or any woman should look like. We should not look over our shoulders for approval. We should celebrate our differences and our ability to choose what we want to be because it makes US happy.

A Latina Whom Attained a College Degree & Stayed at Home

As I took in my fill of daily news from vast resources, I toppled over a depicting article on the record number of Latinas attending College and staying at home. An article which sparked a sense of nostalgia for me as I can understand this observation.

According to the Pew Hispanic Center -- 611,000 Latina Females are enrolled in two year colleges. Unlike African-American and Whites, there are further and deeper factors to approaching and attaining a College Education.Based on the Tomas Rivera Policy Institute in 2003, factors of family, cultural tradition and community factoring in a young Latina/o's decision on where to attain a College education. The sense of familismo, personalismo, machismo, marianismo all factor in (of course, on different levels according to individual experience).

Not only am I first-generation Latina in the United States, I am also the oldest in my family. As the oldest, I took on many responsibilities. Taking care of my brother, helping my two hard-working immigrant parents in every aspect. One can say I grew up rather quickly; at eight years old I spoke English and Spanish fluently becoming my family's advocate in all aspects of life. I learned of the importance of family in order to succeed in this world and thus it resonated (still does) through everything I do.

Education is an important pillar of my family. Attaining it was and is the best inheritance my parents could have instilled in my brother and I. Be that as it may, attaining it had its differences compared to many of my peers in High School.

My senior year was crucial as the question of whether or not I would continue my education was fervently present! I did not come from a top-tiered high school. It was actually a poorly funded school. We had a small prospective graduating class and many of the same were already struggling enough in trying to stay on a passing scale. Many of us came from struggling social and economic backgrounds so the idea of College seemed far to most.

However, an opportunity opened at the start of my last year. A scholarship to DePauw University in Greencastle, Indiana!!  Out of eight candidates, only two scholarships were available and I was offered one of those opportunites. My hard work in school and support from my family helped me get there. The question was, would I take it? One signature of acceptance would grant me the opportunity to attain the education my family & I desired.

Reflecting upon this question, unlike other cultures, as a Latina I was not able accept the scholarship. Not only for my family who did question as to why would one have to travel in order to attain an education; but for myself. My family's support was pivotal in my success in academia and moving away from that, I was confident it would only hinder my goals to attain a College degree. Instead I chose to attend a CUNY College and pursue my Masters within the CUNY system as well. A decision rewarding me with amazing and inspirational Professors and peers.

Looking back to this decision, I have no regrets. At first it was difficult as boundaries of understanding were established between my family and I. We relied on each other but they established a support system in which helped me attain a standard GPA and willingness to pursue an advanced degree in Political Science. Yes, I still was my family's advocate but THEY were my foundation to attaining something no one can ever take away from me.

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In Two Worlds, Love & Life Turn It Into One

What we assumed to be a routine doctor’s appointment for my husband and I, turned out to be a life changing point in our lives on May 9^th, 2012 – we were pregnant! Both excited with the news, we knew our lives would forever change.   

After notifying both sides of the family, our cultural differences would evidently be present in the next chapter of our lives. And while it all has been positive, my husband, our families and I would have to again, re-acquaint ourselves with our cultural differences.

Living and interacting with women in my suburban community has led me to observe a difference in which Michelle Fine and Lois Weis stated on their book, The Unknown City: The Lives of Poor and working-class young adults.  A perception that good mothering was mostly present in a circumstance of money, time and excess; what I have recognized suburbia to be, to a certain extent. Despite this broad perspective of positive mothering, Latina mothering would challenge this concept through its cultural values of familismo.

While a mother/father’s economic capabilities are essential within any cultural realm, family is equally as important. Coming from a predominantly Latino neighborhood in Queens and growing up with a vast amount of Latino peers, family was recognized as a core foundation to growing up. Most of us might have been part of large families, with a low economic background nevertheless, there was always mamita, papito, ñañito, tio/a, abuelito/a; among many other family members to raise us, instilling values education, morality, spirituality augmenting our cultural traits.

Our parents represent these two separate but equally important perceptions of what good parenting would be. And while many new parents might have a huge checklist to cover on preparing themselves to be a parent, our parents seem to be providing much of it.

My in-laws have been very much present in this journey they have been so helpful in making sure our home is ready to welcome a baby. Home repairs have been the order of the day from my father in law and an essential commodity check-list from my mother in-law has been and I know will be useful in months to come.

On the other hand, my parents are equally as amazing. As a first time mom-to-be, there are vast amount of changes that I have been going through – psychologically, physically & spiritually. My mom has been a great mentor and adviser. Her love, example and words have been encouraging and essential from day one to both my husband and I. My fears and concerns are comforted by her maternal experience and love. She brings my Ecuadorian roots to life with home remedies, embodiment of maternity and motherhood and self-empowerment.  My dad’s words of experience and sense of openness as a parent provides a foundation for us, as parents to be.

According to an African proverb, “It takes a village to raise a child” and in our case, it seems as such. Our parents bring two important aspects essential to soon to become parents such as my husband and I. And we are both confident and ecstatic there are grandparents, parents and even a loving uncle that await to bring two worlds together into one unique and exciting adventure!

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Searching for a Colombian Bakery, Finding an Unexpected Bond

I guess you could say I was spoiled. I grew up in Queens, with access to whatever type of Latin cuisine I might want: chorizo (pork sausage), pan camarones (a huge and delicious version of a croissant) and spices from across the Americas in the local supermarket. My parents, who are from Ecuador, only cooked Latino food at home, and we lived in a place where we could find the ingredients for many of our traditional dishes.

When I moved to the Village of Babylon, in Suffolk County, things were a little different. There are lots of great reasons to live in Babylon – the schools, the friendly people, the green space of suburbia – but comida latina isn’t one of them. There is one Latin restaurant, Don Ricardo’s, but back in Queens, I not only had a range of restaurants, I could head to a certain neighborhood and find dozens of Colombian, Peruvian, or Guatemalan places.

I needed to find my own little Queens out on Long Island, but I didn’t know where to start. I asked my husband and my in-laws, who are of Irish and Polish ancestry, but it was obvious they were as helpless as I was. So I turned to the Internet. I decided to look for a bakery, and my search led me to the hamlet of Brentwood.

According to the most recent census data, 69 percent of the population in Brentwood is Latino. Puerto Ricans were the first Latino group to settle in the area, but since then, immigrants from El Salvador, Colombia, and the Dominican Republic have joined them.

Like many city folks, I was accustomed to using my Metrocard to get around, but, as you may know, that’s kind of difficult on Long Island. So I enlisted my father-in-law, Warren, as my driver.

My father in-law has lived on Long Island most of his life, since the 1950s. From his stories, you get the impression that he witnessed Long Island grow from a sleepy sliver of land into a vibrant, populated suburb. While he knew of Brentwood – its demographics and location – he did not know any more beyond that. So together we went off on an adventure, heading into another world that was mostly new to him.

The drive to Brentwood was a little chatty, at least from my part. I could tell that Warren was hesitant. Not because he didn’t want to go, but because he was driving to the unknown. I told him what I thought the place would be like based on my experiences growing up in Queens (and I’ve been to my fair share of Latino bakeries!). He smiled as if he was preparing himself.

While he was nervous, I felt awe and nostalgia as we drove through Brentwood. The demographics seemed to change rapidly.  The sound of Spanish music from surrounding cars, the numerous families walking together, the colorful outfits – all reminded me of where I lived my whole life. I quickly turned to my father in law and shouted, “This is like Queens!” Of course, it wasn’t identical, but I no longer felt out of place. I had found my new home away from home.

The first thing I noticed walking into El Paisita on Suffolk Avenue were the sounds: Latin music and a Spanish-speaking channel on the television played simultaneously, although the TV was at a very low volume, only enough to slightly hear what was airing. Then the smell of bread, empanadas and sweets. My father-in-law looked around quietly; he was scanning and taking in everything he saw, all with a smile on his face. I could tell he was excited to explore.

He didn’t know what to expect and was fearful his lack of Spanish-language skills would create an instant barrier between him and the people in the bakery. The customers were predominantly Latino, but the employees welcomed my father-in-law by speaking to him courteously in English. That seemed to do away with his self-conscious feeling.

We sat down together and ate pan de bono, a type of cheese bread, washing it down with Tropical, a saccharine soda imported from Ecuador (and a personal favorite).

The trip to El Paisita became our thing, and after that first journey, we took lots of other 20-minute rides to Brentwood, talking about the diversity of the community and of Suffolk County. For me, it was a good excuse to sample fresh breads, but I was also touched to see my father-in-law pushing himself to experience something different. As a transplanted Latina in the suburbs, I felt like I was constantly adapting to different cultural norms, and it made me happy to see that he was willing to learn a bit about me, even if it made him feel out of place at first.

That uncomfortable feeling didn’t last long, however. The sense of welcoming by El Paisita’s customer service and delightful goods made him so fond of the place that sometimes I’d call the bakery with the order, and he would go to Brentwood and pick up it up by himself. 

This Article was first featured in Long Island Wins: http://www.longislandwins.com/index.php/culture/detail/searching_for_a_colombian_bakery_finding_an_unexpected_bond/

Latina In Suburbia

I have been a New York City native all my life. Was born, raised and lived in Queens the last 26 years. Recently married, I relocated with my husband to Suffolk County. He was born, raised and lived there all HIS life. The two of us brought two worlds together in one home and continue exploring and living out our life as a modern day couple -- heavy metal-meets-reggaeton; Ceviche-meets-Corned Beef; Futbol-meets-Drag Racing; Novelas-meet -Reality Shows...and boy can we go on! A new world and representation of how times have changed...or have they?

Living in Suffolk County has opened my eyes that New York City and what it stands for, is only a small part of New York State let alone our entire nation. And suburbia most certainly consists of a different culture. Reading, listening and watching local media sources and people's ways of interaction has simply opened my eyes to a silent ignorance resonating throughout a suburban community. Filled with stereotypes and general misinterpretation of different cultures has led to a clear division within this county. While I have had the pleasure of meeting very open-minded individuals whom are simply curious as to who I am, I have also have met individuals who have clearly shown a non-welcoming attitude if I dare say uncomfortable mannerisms once this elephant comes into the room (yes, I shall refer myself as the elephant).

While this can be irritating, I choose to channel it through an education filter...and how do I do this? Pretty much educating ignorance. Yes, I have had individuals initially attempt to treat me as an analphabet however they are proven wrong once we verbally interact on whatever the issue may be. I have also have had the pleasure of being able to teach at the local college in Suffolk. At the beginning of the semester, many students had misconceptions of the Latino community based on stereotypes but as the semester has progressed these same students have shown me that all individuals need is to be educated. And I don't mean this in a Higher Education sort of way because realistically we cannot send all of Suburbia back to school but government can certainly provide an alternative method. Instead of having our local representatives, such as Steve Levy (Suffolk's County Executive) use the "anchor baby" reference and criminalizing immigrants providing local residents only this perception of a community, government-formed commissions or forces should be formed instead. These entities should educate residents on the misuse of stereotypes and provide culture insight on our community. Insights into a diverse community full of Entrepreneurs, Public Servants, customs, art, music, food...simply a diverse culture within a culture.

Until this ideas dawns upon local government, I will continue eliminating stereotypes on an individual level and hopefully government will catch up.

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